Simple, But Not Easy

"Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.  It meant destruction of self-centeredness.  I must turn in all things to the Father of Light who presides over us all."  Big Book, p14

This is a big price and so worth it!  I have found that the only way to do this is by working the steps.  The steps break through the denial.  Beginning with prayer to the Father of Light, I ask that He show me what I need to see for this day, for the step work I am about to begin and I pray for His Will to be done.  As I write, I discover my side of the street.  I see the manipulation, the control, the self-centered behaviors.  I continue to put it down in black and white not worrying yet about sharing this with someone.  I keep my writing safely stored.  When I am done for the period, I say a short prayer of gratitude and let go and let God.  When I meet with my sponsor, I share what I have written, learned and my feelings about what I wrote down.  My sponsor helps me see clearly where I have too much guilt, false responsibility and fear.  And, as I become willing to release some of my shortcomings, we offer and turn in my character defects for God to work with them, on His time.

Thank You Higher Power.  Thank You for your grace in revealing my self-centered behaviors.  Thank You for showing me the difference between being selfish (e.g., going to meetings and taking care of myself) and selfish self-centeredness (e.g., expecting others to revolve around me).  Thank You for being the Loving Light that you are.  Thank You.