Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Once an Alcoholic...

We have seen the truth demonstrated again and again:  "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic."  Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever.  If we are planning to stop drinking, there  must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.  Big Book p33

I quit drinking for a few years and thought I had it all under control.  I started going to another 12-step program to deal with another addiction.  After a few months, and that addiction was arrested, I started drinking.  I am not a daily drinker, but when I drink, I black out and all sorts of things happen that I can't remember, even today.  When I became reservationless, I realized that my life was a series of addictions.  I just jumped one to another, ever since I was a small child.  Someone once told me I am only as emotionally old as I am in years I did not actively participate in one of my addictions.  At 35-years old, I was really about 8 emotionally.  I participate in multiple programs now, but all of the glaring ones are arrested and now I am able to see a layer peeled back and can work on some of the addictions that are even more subtle.  Once and alcoholic, always an alcoholic?  Absolutely!

Thank you Higher Power.  Thank you for giving me the gift of grace and acceptance.  Thank you for putting any reservations I may have had into their proper perspective.  Thank you.

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