We have seen the truth demonstrated
again and again: "Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic." Commencing to drink
after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are
planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any
lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. Big Book
p33
I quit drinking for a few years and thought I had it all under
control. I started going to another 12-step program to deal with another
addiction. After a few months, and that addiction was arrested, I started
drinking. I am not a daily drinker, but when I drink, I black out and all sorts
of things happen that I can't remember, even today. When I became
reservationless, I realized that my life was a series of addictions. I just
jumped one to another, ever since I was a small child. Someone once told me I
am only as emotionally old as I am in years I did not actively participate in
one of my addictions. At 35-years old, I was really about 8 emotionally. I
participate in multiple programs now, but all of the glaring ones are arrested
and now I am able to see a layer peeled back and can work on some of the
addictions that are even more subtle. Once and alcoholic, always an alcoholic?
Absolutely!
Thank you Higher Power. Thank you for giving me the gift
of grace and acceptance. Thank you for putting any reservations I may have had
into their proper perspective. Thank you.
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