Those We Have Harmed

Probably there are still some misgivings.  As we look over the list of business acquaintances and friends we have hurt, we may feel diffident about going to some of them on a spiritual basis.  Let us be reassured.  To some people we need not, and probably should not emphasize the spiritual feature on our first approach.  Big Book, p76

I was very shy about approaching people on a spiritual basis because I didn't have any wisdom or experience for a long, long time.  I did the two-step (steps 1 and 12) illusion for a long time.  I did service and had surrendered to the program, but nothing in between.   In my first year, I made a list of those I had harmed and I went around trying to make amends to everyone, but it wasn't on a spiritual basis within me either. It was more like running around trying to dump my guilt, but there was little compassion or love in the process.  I also found that even when I was ready to make amends out of love, some folks didn't care about a spiritual awakening because they weren't ready, just as I was not ready before I came to my first meeting.  I had to trust my Higher Power that the right words would come and they most assuredly did.  And in most cases, there were positive results of relationships healing, financial debts being paid,etc.  There were some who needed to see the change for themselves before any rebuilding of trust could happen.  And even that was left to my Higher Power.  The Truth really doesn't need a defense.

Thank you Higher Power.  Thank you for giving me the courage and the strength to try to see things from someone else's point of view.  Thank you for releasing me from the bondage I tried to put myself in by being evangelical and preaching.  Thank you for your acceptance in just being me.  Thank you.