Morals and Philosophy

"If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how hard we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could wish these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn't there. Our human resources, as marshaled (or directed) by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly."  Big Book, p44

I tried many times to control my addiction.  I tried to be a moral and upstanding citizen, somehow thinking that my virtues would keep me from taking another drink.  This passages takes me to the introduction of the Beatitudes in Emmet Fox's Sermon on the Mount.  I follow all of these different rituals and routines thinking it will win me God's favor or something and I have it backwards.   If I behave this way, I will receive punishment.  The problem is that I don't think of it in terms of consequences for my own actions.  I think of it as this outside "God" punishing me for my bad behavior, much like my parents did.   In reality, I already have all of the Love and Power I need, but the paradox is to surrender to it, not try to 'accomplish it'.  It is already done for me and I just need to keep aligning myself with it through prayer accepting it through meditation and contemplation.
Thank you Higher Power.  Thank you for another moment with a clear mind and an open heart.  Thank you for giving me these insights each day so that I do not find myself moved away from you.  Thank you.