Friday, March 16, 2012

Selfishness—self-centeredness!

Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self- seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt. Big Book p62

This passage describes me perfectly.  When I started working on my first inventory, I discovered that the basis for all of my resentments was a fear of some kind or a belief that a particular result should not be the way it is.  I learned that when I acted from a place of resentment I created more pain and hurt for those around me, which just caused me more pain and hurt.   I noticed that as I come to rely more and more on a Power Greater than Myself in my "day at a time" walk, that there is less fear about what is happening.  There is more acceptance of what is.  And I react less and respond more. 

Thank you Higher Power.  Thank you for keeping me and my fellows safe for another day of recovery.  Thank you for showing me my part through the haze of self-loathing and the anger I had toward my fellows.  Thank you for showing me a way out of that vicious cycle.  Thank you.

No comments:

Post a Comment