Selfishness—self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self- seeking, and
self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they
hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time
in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a
position to be hurt. Big Book p62
This
passage describes me perfectly. When I started working on my first inventory, I
discovered that the basis for all of my resentments was a fear
of some kind or a belief that a particular result should not be the way it is.
I learned that when I acted from a place of resentment I created more pain and
hurt for those around me, which just caused me more pain and hurt. I noticed
that as I come to rely more and more on a Power Greater than Myself in my "day
at a time" walk, that there is less fear about what is happening. There is more
acceptance of what is. And I react less and respond more.
Thank
you Higher Power. Thank you for keeping me and my fellows safe for another day
of recovery. Thank you for showing me my part through the haze of self-loathing
and the anger I had toward my fellows. Thank you for showing me a way out of
that vicious cycle. Thank you.
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