Bottles Were Only A Symbol

Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.

After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!  Big Book, p103
Resentments are my number one killer.  This is a luxury I simply cannot afford. 

I found myself starting arguments with people, places and things just to create an excuse to run back to the bottle.   I would create a beautiful drama, arrange the lights, the scenery and some person, place or thing would just not fit into my mental picture correctly and I would need a drink to get over it.  Or I would need a drink to have the courage to try to change someone or something (control).  Or I would need a drink to just forget everything and run (fear).  Or I would somehow feel responsible for things not turning out the way I thought they should and I would need a drink to soothe myself (guilt).  I had some really, really good reasons for drinking!  Looking back at my motives, my Higher Power has shown me why I cannot afford the luxury of this type of attitude.  It is always an excuse to react self-destructively. 

Thank You Higher Power.  Thank You for illuminating my mind enough to see this dis-ease for what it is.  Thank You for breaking through some of my delusions.  Thank You for showing me a better way of life, one day at a time.  Thank You.