Faced With This Problem

Faced with this problem, if a doctor is honest with himself, he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy. Although he gives all that is in him, it often is not enough. One feels that something more than human power is needed to produce the essential psychic change. Though the aggregate of recoveries resulting from psychiatric effort is considerable, we physicians must admit we have made little impression upon the problem as a whole. Many types do not respond to the ordinary psychological approach. Big Book, pxxvii

I love that Dr. Silkworth wrote this.  If someone with this much education and practice with alcoholism is powerless, then why would I think I can do this alone?  When I first walked into a room of Alcoholic's Anonymous, I did not have any awareness of any kind of Power greater than myself.  My addictions were my Higher Power and I sought solace in them.  When I started to listen in 12-Step rooms, it was revealed to me that all of us were in the same boat.  By ourselves, there was nothing we could do to abstain! 

The rooms became my Higher Power.  I saw that collectively we could help each other not drink.  Then I recognized in the Traditions, "a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience".  This caused me to dig a little deeper.  I realized there was something working through each of us and that it only happened when we gathered together.  The Truth gets spoken. 

Today, as I surrender to the will of my Higher Power and ask what I might do for the man who still suffers, even more is revealed to me in the rooms.  Amazing how that works!  My psychic change has been a 'baby steps' process.  And I am grateful for each little step, just as I am when watching a baby learn to walk for the first time.  It is a joyful experience.

Thank You Higher Power.  Thank You for Dr. Silkworth.  Thank You for those who have come before me.  Thank You for my new sponsor!  Thank You for having me go through the Steps and the Big Book again.  Thank You.