No Middle-Of-The-Road Solution

If you are so seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution. We were in a position where life was becoming impossible, and if we had passed into the regio...n from which there is no return through human aid, we had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. This we did because we honestly wanted to, and were willing to make the effort. Big Book, p25

I want spiritual help.  I am tired of hiding behind addictions of any kind.  I am ready to completely abandon myself and surrender to a Higher Power I can trust, love and believe in, even if this Higher Power is all of my own making/conception.  I am good with that.  I have noticed that the more I surrender, the more my life gets better and better.  It only seems to be when I try to "control" that things go downhill and I begin to want to drink.   Self-will is all I have known for so long!  I have tried to pigeonhole everything and everyone into some little box that makes me feel like everything is going to be okay, but that doesn't work for me anymore.  It just makes a bigger mess.  Higher Power, I am willing to let go now. 

Thank You Higher Power for always being there.  Thank You for always cleaning up my messes and turning them into messages just like the 3rd Step prayers says.  Thank You.