Nonsense

The minute we put our work on a service plane, the alcoholic commences to rely upon our assistance rather than upon God. He clamors for this or that, claiming he cannot master alcohol until his material needs are cared for. Nonsense. Some of us have taken very hard knocks to learn this truth: Job or no job — wife or no wife — we simply do not stop drinking so long as we place dependence upon other people ahead of dependence on God.  Big Book, p98

I had to learn this the hard way.  Within a few months after I entered into my first 12-Step room, my car was repossessed, my boyfriend left and I was laid off from my job.  My sponsor said, "looks like you have a lot of time on your hands now, do you think God might be hinting to you that its time to write your 4th step?"  I don't know why, but I listened, I wrote, I went to lots of meetings and I went to coffee with Fellowship people. 

Since entering the rooms I have seen my son run over by a humvee, my daughter cut herself (self-mutilation)and attempt suicide by overdose.  I was given the gift of a beautiful grandson and he was removed from my life two days after he was born.  I have been married and not married.  I have been employed and unemployed.  I have been overwhelmed and I have been underwhelmed.  The good news is that I haven't had to drink, pickup, gamble or smoke over it!  Thank You God!  Life is still in session.  Things do not work out the way I think they should.  Shit happens!  And yet, somewhere, deep down inside me is this fundamental idea of love and peace that reminds me I am always taken care of as are all of us.
Thank You Higher Power.  Thank You for Your Grace.  Thank You for Your Love.  Thank You for always knowing what is best for all, even when my thoughts don't want to agree with You.  Thank You.