Creditors

Most alcoholics owe money.  We do not dodge our creditors.  Big Book p78
It is hard to read this quote during the tough economic times we are having all over the world right now.  

When active in my addiction, I lived in a state of perpetual fantasy.  I was always 90 days late on my payments, barely hanging on to my two kids and my apartment, and not always functional enough to show up to work.   When I got into program, in the first few months, I was laid off, my car was repossessed and I found myself on unemployment.  I would get very angry when people told me my finances would improve and that it was the character defects that were tough to overcome.  Slowly, a little at a time, I am still making my way out of debt.  I know my debt is a result of my own choices.  And I have discovered that while my debt is minimizing, I still have a lot of work to do on my character defects.

And there are those who cannot pay their debts.  Every day now, I read about old people eating cat food to get by on social security, homes being foreclosed on, and AA speakers with decades of sobriety up at the podium discussing the humility of reading this sentence while in the middle of bankruptcy because few can find work.   While I cannot afford to "loll in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation".  What I can do is have compassion.

Whether we face bankruptcy or slowly make our way out of debt, it doesn't matter.  In either case, we didn't run back to the bottle!

Thank you Higher Power for keeping me sober today.   Thank you for showing me the next indicated step with my finances, one moment at a time.  Thank you for removing the defects of character I am willing to surrender to you.  Thank you.