True Brother(Sister)hood

We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.  Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it.  This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us.  Of true brother(sister)hood we had small comprehension. 12x12 p53

I am on of those on the "all or nothing" program.  I never looked at it like struggling to the top of the heap because I was always taught to 'do my very best'.  Upon reflection, I can see where I was trying to feel worthy, gain approval and seek kudos from people just for some semblance of 'feeling okay'.  And so it went with alcohol.  The addictions are so subtle that I am still learning to be a friend a little more each day.  It is difficult when I forget to check my motives, find out after the fact that I have been people-pleasing and then just wake up one morning with a pile of undealth with resentments.  The program teaches me how to get out of it,  I simply just need to humbly ask God to help me with this self-centered behavior and be grateful that today, at least I can see it.  When I was drinking, I wouldn't have cared less.

Have you ever thought just how sick you are to want to be a Big Shot in an anonymous program?  lol!  That is so me!

Thank you God.  Thank you for the little progress each day.  It is nice to be able to bask in the Fellowship of the Spirit and just be one among many and feeling just oneness itself with everyone.  Thank you.