Short Cuts

Don't look for short cuts.  You don't need any.  Enjoy recovery, one day at a time. - Beyond 90 days, Page 5

I actively practiced one of my addictions for 35 years.  And the addiction itself is just a symptom of a deeper rooted problem, selfish self-centeredness.  I tried to be like the members with a lot of time in the program, which was my version of "fake it til you make it".  I started the 12-step illusion about my second week in the program.  I was on Step One, still sitting in the fog of the first 90-days, but giving other members all kinds of comments and advice, both during the meetings and on breaks.  My sponsor finally told me, "you can't give away what you don't have".  That was his very polite way of saying "shut up!"  There was another dear member who used to say, "take the cotton out of your ears and stick it in your mouth!"  I wanted to fit in so badly and be "recovered" and be a part of the group.  I wanted to focus on anything that would distract me from looking at me.  I wanted a short cut!  One day at a time, I heard more and more and as the days passed, I am starting to slowly to understand a little about Step One, then Step Two, then Tradition One, and on and on. 

Thank you God.  Thank you for the opportunity to study, learn and experience the Steps.  Thank you for showing me that the Steps are much better than the elevator.  Thank you for revealing to me that my impatience has been much more of a detriment to my spiritual growth than I ever knew before.  Thank you.