Sunday, January 1, 2012

Self-Will

"The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success." - Page 60, Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book

My first thought on reading this passage is, "My best thinking got me here!"

self-will n - stubborn adherence to one's own will, desires, etc., esp at the expense of others

Dictionaries are powerful!  Yes, my addictions covered up much of this behavior.  "I want, what I want, when I want it", and nothing was going to stop me.  My addictions covered up the pain I was causing myself and others, until my addictions became pain all by themselves.   Self-will leads me to believe I am the center of the universe.  It puts me in the spirit of "I deserve", "poor me", and "if only".

Higher Power,
The insanity of my own choices has brought me to the point of complete defeat.  I am convinced that my choices do not lead to any definition I have of success.  My choices lead me to spiritual, financial, emotional and physical bankruptcy.  I cannot do this on my own.  I am open to you showing me new ways of living that are of the highest good for myself and others.

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